On the 4/3 Commonwealth Club panel: Rachel Sarah, Jane Ganahl, Wendy Merrill, Jerusha Stewart, Sasha Cagen

What do you get when you bring together five single women writers and ask them to talk about the single state of the union? And what do you get when you bring together a single woman writer, a married Italian playwright, a U.S. Historian, and a Persian cleric and ask them to discuss “Too Busy to Fall in Love”? I found out over the last two weeks when I served on two panels–one at the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco and the other at the Conference on World Affairs in Boulder Colorado.

In San Francisco, at the Commonwealth Club, the “Single Women Tell All” panel we single women had power in numbers and the mood was upbeat. My favorite questions from the audience were:

What technological and social innovations do you foresee when single people cross over to majority status?

Are feminists OK with men being chivalrous and opening doors for them?
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Fascinating story on single mothers in China in the New York Times . . Quirkyalone quote here: “I don’t want to lower myself to staying with another person just for the sake of being together,” Ms. Xie said. “If that means I have to sacrifice a lot, so be it.” Read the full story here.

I’m excited to announce that I’m working on a new project: Quirkytogether.com, a place where quirkyalones (and quirky people of all kinds) can meet. My business partner and I are still developing core concepts and features for the site. As we brainstorm, some questions for you:

What’s your dream vision of quirkytogether? I always like to start out a project by talking to lots of people, so would love to hear what you would like to see in a QT site, and the ways in which you think existing sites that facilitate meeting people fall short. So here are some questions. What would you want to do on a site where quirkyalones meet? Would it be for meeting friends, potential mates, travel partners, activity partners, or . . .? Tell us in the comments.

We’d also love to have you on board as one of our first members. There are no age restrictions, so anyone and everyone should sign up for the super-exclusive, invite-only beta. You’ll be one of the first to help establish the quirkytogether vibe.

Next week (April 7 - 11) I’ll be stretching my brain and speaking on a number of fascinating topics such as:

Publishing a Book: Tales from the Trenches

Too Busy To Fall In Love

Why Young Voters Care Again

Feminism: The New F Word

Why We Write

The Power of Facebook

Things We Wish We’d Learned in College: A List Slam

It’s all part of the 60th-annual Conference of World Affairs at Colorado University in Boulder. This will be the second year that I participate. It’s an amazing community-intellectual event–super-stimulating and fun. All the events are free so if you happen to live nearby, or want to take an intellectual vacation, come join us.

Here’s how the CWA describes itself:

“The Conference on World Affairs was founded in 1948, originally as a forum on international affairs. CWA expanded rapidly to encompass the arts, media, science, diplomacy, technology, environment, spirituality, politics, business, medicine, human rights, and so on. Roger Ebert, who holds a record of thirty-seven consecutive years of participation in the CWA, refers to the event as “the Conference on Everything Conceivable.”

If you happen to live in Boulder or are visiting come say hi. Here’s the schedule of panels I’ll be on, and here’s info on the CWA in general.

Romantic comedies can be sustaining for quirkyalones. When you’re single for a long time, fueling your singlehood with the belief that the one (or of course, one of the ones) might be out there, you need religion to continue to bolster your belief. That belief needs to be fortified, of course, by romantic comedies. All the better if the character who finally finds love is a long-single, cynical, self-sufficient woman who doesn’t believe it’s ever going to happen to her. I root for those characters so much more!

Last night I stumbled on such a movie. The Jane Austen Book Club. I  love Jane Austen–especially Pride and Prejudice–I thought it would just be a soothing weekday rental.  The synopsis: Six Californians meet in a monthly book group to discuss Austen’s novels, and find their own lives reflected in their plots. Maria Bello plays Jocelyn in the lead role, a long-single dog breeder who has a history of putting her best friend above her own romantic needs and meeting her emotional needs with her dog. The movie opens with an elaborate dog funeral! She has a line in the beginning of the movie that I just loved, “I’ve never been in love. I’ve had sexual partners.” I won’t spoil the ending for you, but of course, good things do come to those who wait (and lost faith).

Two years ago, the then 39-year-old actress Maria Bello, a single mother of a five-year old, told the New York Times in a profile, “George Clooney says he’s a bachelor for life and everyone thinks it’s cool,” she said. “But if a woman doesn’t want to get married, there’s something wrong with her.”  That quote stuck with me too.  I knew she was a quirkyalone then. . . She is totally radiant as a quirkyalone in the movie. Rent it, it’s my feel-good tip of the week.

The quirkyalone nation thanks you, Stephen Colbert. Make sure you watch at least until he whips out the Ben & Jerry’s. This is too precious.

One of the best parts of being single and dating is talking about it with other single women (and men). Here’s a chance to talk about the highs and lows of the vida solo in a public conversation at the Commonwealth Club. Come on down and join us. I think there will even be wine.

THURSDAY APRIL 3 | 6:00 PM

The Commonwealth Club
595 Market St.
San Francisco, CA 94105

WOMEN WRITERS TELL ALL: SINGLE IN THE CITY

Sasha Cagen, Author, Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics
Jane Ganahl, Author, Naked on the Page: The Misaventures of My Unmarried Midlife
Wendy Merrill, Author, Falling Into Manholes: The Memoir of a Bad/Good Girl
Rachel Sarah, Author, Single Mom Seeking: Playdates, Blind Dates, and Other Dispatches from the Dating World
Jerusha Stewart, Author, The Single Girl’s Manifesta

From the Commonwealth Club: “The joys and challenges of single life are topic A for this panel of talented women writers. Men, single parenthood, dates from hell, aging, career and the myth of “having it all” - nothing will be off-limits! What does it mean to be an unmarried female today? How is it different than it was for our mothers? Can a woman find happiness living la vida sola? Of course! Come and find out how!”
5:30 p.m. reception, 6pm program, 7pm booksigning | $12 members, $18 non-members, $7 students | Bookseller: Stacey’s Books

title=”denniselizabeth.jpg”>Did anyone else see the March Elle magazine’s voyeuristic piece about the can’t-keep-their-hands-off-each-other couple Dennis and Elizabeth Kucinich? I couldn’t decide whether they were quirkytogether or kookytogether. (It’s always a fine line.) Dennis is of course famous for being the most liberal Democratic presidential candidate in 2004 and 2008. He was also famous for being the only bachelor candidate last time around. The press teased him for being single–at this 2003 New Hampshire Debate, he said:

“As a bachelor, I get a chance to fantasize about my first lady,” the twice-divorced Kucinich replied. “And you know, maybe Fox will want to sponsor it as a national contest or something. But in any event, I would want someone who would not just be there by my side, but be a working partner because I think we’re in an age when partnerships are imperative to making anything happen in the world.

And I certainly want a dynamic, outspoken woman who was fearless in her desire for peace in the world and for universal single-payer health care and a full employment economy.

“If you are out there call me,” he concluded with a flourish reminiscent of “American Gigolo.”

I guess good things come to those who wait. True love struck when Elizabeth, an early thirties British hottie and activist visited his Congressional office a few years ago a meeting about monetary policy. Thirty years separate them, but they say it doesn’t matter–they have a “soul connection.” I’m often skeptical about such claims when a man is so much older than his young bride, but this time I think I believe them.

“You’re going to be surrounded by bachelorette parties,” my friend A told me, as if that would somehow dissuade me. “That’s OK,” I said. “Why do we have to wait until someone gets married to objectify men? We’re bachelorettes. We can have our own party.” A’s friend M gave me a high-five kind of look. She too wanted to go see Australia’s hottest export, The Thunder From Down Under (Las Vegas’ “top-rated male revue”).

As soon as I arrived in Las Vegas to visit A., and I saw the ad for The Thunder from Down Under in the tram at the airport, I knew that I wanted–needed–to see the show. It would make the weekend. Las Vegas is so saturated with images of objectified nubile women. It was hard to concentrate on conversation at dinner at times with images of writing women in the distance on television screens. From a quirkyalone perspective, I wanted to know what a male revue show would be like, with the genders reversed.
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The List Slam thing is becoming a true phenomenon. If there’s anything I’ve learned recently, it’s that people love to read their to-do lists out loud. And people also love to hear them. It’s a fascinating dip into another person’s daily life (or lifelong aspirations). I’m doing another List Slam with the very cool organization Girls in Tech, a group promoted to promoting camaraderie and connections among women in technology.

The next List Slam will be Wednesday, March 5, 6:30 pm - 9 pm at Adaptive Path, an interaction design firm, in San Francisco.

In the spirit of Girls in Tech, I’ll talk about not only the book, the lists, but also the publishing process for all you aspiring writers out there. RSVP at this eventbrite invitation and let us know if you are coming! And don’t forget to bring a list.

It’s a Girls in Tech event, but male list-makers are welcome.