Quirkyalone

In defining and describing the QA state, one question keeps bobbing up: how can some QAs be incurably social yet still call themselves “alone”? Quirky, sure, but isn’t a stretch to indentify with something you are actually the opposite of? Or, as curious correspondent, directing comments towards Sasha, put it:

So, what does an attractive, successful women with a book, a USA Today feature, radio appearances (I heard you, and about you, on Invisible Ink), and a well-attended party about being alone know about solitude? Honestly, I want to know. I don’t mean to come off as an asshole. I suppose it’s just weird to me, as someone who’s never been invited to a party or been to a dance, to read about self-identified “quirkyalones” going to a party to meet other “quirkyalones.” Really, are you genuinely alone, or is this a way to get your name out there?

Since Sasha is busy clearing out her social calendar for media appearances, I thought I’d try to tackle this question (or, more likely, open it up for debate.) Judging whether or not someone is QA based on whether they are not “genuinely alone” misses the point. For starters, how would you measure it? The time people spend alone is often hidden, snatched on walks home or workday lunches. Even the most intensely social creatures could have islands of time spent solo that most people don’t know about. So don’t ass-u-me; you don’t need me to tell you what assuming does.

One of the biggest things that separates QAs from PTs (perky-togethers) is a belief that friendship is a central relationship, not a place-holder for romantic love. QAs are often marked by their intense commitment to privileging friendship, to making sure that they make room for their friends even when other parts of their life intrude. Solitude for QAs often has to be wrestled from the demands of work, hobbies, roommates, friends and all kinds of time-sucking social obligations. You can be a loner, someone who rarely goes to dances or parties, and be squarely in the QA camp but does not make you more of a QA than someone with an overloaded calendar. It just means you have no excuse for not attending (or throwing) an IQD party.

Related posts:

1. Get Famous Fast
2. An Often Asked Question: Are There Any Quirkyalone Events Near Me?
3. International Quirkyalone Day Update
4. Sunday Morning TV