The Truth About Me and Quirkyalone

Transparency is a major buzzword in Internet circles these days. It’s about sharing who you are through YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter, enough to make you seem more real and a little vulnerable. Transparency is said to bring us closer together. In business and government, transparency theoretically makes institutions more accountable.

It’s strange to be a nonfiction writer who has always specialized in writing about culture through the prism of my own life now that everyone is sharing tidbits of their lives online. I’m suspicious of the belief that we should all be transparent. I know how carefully I and other nonfiction writers and memoirists consider which stories and details to share. We don’t tell them in real-time. It’s impossible to predict how careless sharing will haunt us in the future, whether in the workplace or a relationship.

But now I feel blocked, I decided to give the whole transparency thing a try. What’s the worst thing that can happen?  If there’s anything I’m passionate about, it’s honest communication.

I have decided that it might be interesting to be more transparent at this moment about my tangle of ambivalence  regarding quirkyalone ten years after originally writing an essay defining the term (and five years after publishing my book).

In December 2008 I came up with the idea of redesigning this site to turn it into a group blog and magazine with daily, fresh content. The quirkyalone outlook can be applied to politics, travel, marriage, relationships, friendship, community, (online) dating, pop culture, and more. When I put out the call, smart bloggers responded that they wanted to contribute. It took five months to execute on the redesign–and now it’s time to start. But I am stymied and unmotivated. Why is that? My way to get unblocked is often to write. Often by writing things become more clear.

So here goes.

I am afraid that by continuing to put my energy into a website about singleness that I am writing myself into a future of eternal singlehood.  Let me be clear. One of my worst fears in life is to be misunderstood, especially on gut issues like the ones raised by Quirkyalone about love and relationships. I do not want to be single forever. I want to be in a long-term relationship. Why do I feel the need to say this?

Around New Year’s I ran into an old college friend whom I saw for the first time in seven years. He introduced me to his friends as the lady behind the quirkyalone movement, but he apparently hadn’t really absorbed the full definition. He asked me if I have to tell new boyfriends about quirkyalone as if I am telling them I have herpes, as if it’s something that needs to be disclosed at the beginning of a relationship. He thought being quirkyalone meant I wanted only flings.  I was speechless.

For months, I worried that other people might think the same thing. Have I been sabotaging myself all these years by unknowingly putting forward the impression that I only want to be single?

Does putting all this energy into building a website and community of self-respecting and proud single people mean that I will only attract singleness myself? Am I telling the universe I only want to be single in some horribly Secret-ish way? Does Quirkyalone intimidate men? Do they not ask me out assuming I prefer to be single?

There is no shocking revelation here: no polyamory, no deviance. Wow, I want a long-term partner, how crazy is that? But somehow it’s very important for me to be clear.

But now that I’m in my mid-thirties, it’s unacceptable to me for my career and my creative work to even potentially be at cross-purposes with my hopes for my personal life. The differences between quirkyalone at 25 (when I first conceived this idea) and at 35 now are a rich topic that I want to explore in a separate piece, but it’s abundantly clear that this is a decade when I need and want to be entirely clear-eyed and clear with others about what I want out of my life. That includes a husband (or long-term relationship), a child (I think!),  continued creative vitality, strong friendships, a feeling of civic community, and closeness with my family. That’s my abstract list.

You notice I put husband first. In some way, I have been afraid to articulate that wish: to myself (because I feared, well, what if it doesn’t happen, you don’t want to be disappointed) and to my quirkyalone readers: because I was afraid of making you feel less empowered or even betrayed. I felt an obligation to put on a publicly content face about being single. It’s messed up, when I think about it with any depth. I was willing to sacrifice honesty and even my potential success at finding love (by not being honest) because I was afraid of betraying to my single readers? WTF?

I can’t wave the flag for something that I don’t believe in. Or in an idea that doesn’t serve me personally. Which means, I need to redefine quirkyalone now, ten years later.

In some subtle and yet fundamental way, I want to redefine quirkyalone with yet another layer. This has never been a simple or easily explainable idea. It’s not like “metrosexual”: it has ambivalence and paradox baked right into it, the comfort in being single combined with the aching yearning to find the right partner.

More and more quirkyalone is about connection for me, the idea that it’s impossible to be connected to others without being comfortable alone. It’s about being connected in a time when our attention is growing more fragmented, as we multitask, twitter, glance at our phones and our video streams. It’s about being comfortable with your aloneness and connected to your deepest self, whether you’re single or partnered. For many of us, I think being quirkyalone is a prerequisite to being in a healthy relationship. It’s about confidence and presence, so you can be fully present for someone else and appreciate them for who they are without judgment or squeezing them into a predefined box or list. Solitude can be experienced alone or with others. With others: it’s just about focusing on the world which you inhabit together.

I am not saying that being in a relationship is better than being single. I’m saying that there are ways you can only grow when you are single, and ways you can only grow when you are partnered. Perpetual, lifelong singlehood is not optimal because it shuts off the possibility of certain kinds of growth. I have spent enough time being single, and it’s time for me to learn and grow in a new way by being partnered with someone. For others, it’s time to grow by being single.

It makes me feel happy to be honest. In a way, writing this post reminds me of the blissful exhalation I felt when I shared my original quirkyalone essay with a roommate 10 years ago before it was published. Writing feels like thought exhalation to me. I slept deeply that night because I exhaled something that was hard to articulate, but true, and it was a great relief to see that she got it. I look forward to more writings about all these messy complexities.

Expect more transparent truths about me and quirkyalone, and more transparent truths from the writers who are going to join this blog soon.

I’ll be introducing them one by one over the coming weeks.

Like this? Be sure to sign up for my mailing list and join me in Buenos Aires to learn about the quirkyalone approach to life and relationships through tango in the Quirky Tango Adventure.

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Sasha Cagen is the author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics and To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us. Sign up for Sasha's List to get weekly-ish inspiration for your quirky life, along with news about books, online classes, and in-person events, retreats, and adventures.

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Posted in Quirkytogether, Relationships, Single Life
34 comments on “The Truth About Me and Quirkyalone
  1. Erika says:

    I love this. Thank you for sharing…..you have managed to say the exact thing I am struggling with. Your words, “the comfort in being single combined with the aching yearning to find the right partner….” Yes. That’s it exactly. Ah, such a beautiful complexity.

  2. ario says:

    You go Sasha! Very well articulated.

  3. Jenn says:

    As a proud quirkyalone who has recently begun what is looking like a serious, potentially lifetime, relationship, I have to say a big AMEN to everything in this post! “I’m saying that there are ways you can only grow when you are single, and ways you can only grow when you are partnered.” – YES! SO well put! I’ve been blogging about being happily single for a little while now and I originally felt weird admitting that I was in a relationship. Now that I’m in it, I’m realizing that I’m only capable of having this relationship because of the growth I did when I was single. I’ve always thought of quirkyalone as being not a commitment to singlehood but a recognition that being happily single is better than settling for a less-than-great relationship. The irony I’ve found is that being happily single is what has prepared me for a great relationship.

  4. Mike says:

    This is a bold step Sasha. I feel like I got a letter from a good friend I haven’t heard from in a while. Very refreshing to hear this kind of honesty (in written form no doubt – no 140 character limit!)

  5. Nichelle says:

    Thanks so much for writing this post. I wrote about Quirkyalone five years ago on my blog, and when I met you last week at the 140conf, it didn’t immediately click that you were the founder of a “movement”.

    I am in a relationship with someone who seems way more quirkyalone than me , and it’s an interesting balance.

    BTW, here’s the old post I wrote.
    http://nichellestephens.com/?p=225

  6. Samara says:

    You were bound to be misunderstood by some Sasha, but those of us who knew exactly what you were talking about felt validated when we encountered your cause. Quirkyalone, to me, means that if I had to choose between being single and settling then I proudly choose being single—which goes against the grain of all that we’ve been taught. Of course, like you, I would love to find mutual love in all it’s compelling and challenging glory, but if that ship never sails my way then I will live (and love) every moment of my life. Another message that I took from Quirkyalone is that we should collectively encourage people to be single for a significant period in their lives—to find themselves first and be in a relationship second. Often times people jump from relationship to relationship for no other reason than to avoid being single. In doing this they deny themselves the opportunity to know and incredible person: me, myself, and I. I wish you well as you look for love and hope that you will continue to enlighten us all along the way.

  7. Sonya says:

    I really like your thought, “I’m saying that there are ways you can only grow when you are single, and ways you can only grow when you are partnered. Perpetual, lifelong singlehood is not optimal because it shuts off the possibility of certain kinds of growth.” ….I guess it’s a matter of knowing what time is what.

    This was all really nice to read.

  8. Becky says:

    I can see where Quirkyalone may be misinterpreted and I think different meanings may be extracted depending on the perspective of the reader. When I read the book, I was in a committed relationship and thought the term to mean that you should relish your uniqueness. I thought the book was clear in that relationships are important, whether the relationships are with friends, a partner, etc. Quirkyalone, to me, is being comfortable with yourself and not losing your sense of individuality when you are part of a couple.

  9. diana says:

    I very much relate to this….thank you for your thoughts and I look forward to more transparency…

  10. Rebecca says:

    you are so brave sasha, thanks for writing this

  11. Sam Jones says:

    Samara wrote EXACTLY what I would have written, so this is just a ditto and…

    I’ve never misunderstood quirkyalone to mean that a person is “easy” and or only out for “fun”. It’s holding out for real, special, meaningful love and commitment and NOT settling.

    I have known people who are scared to be alone and do go from relationship to relationship because it’s “not cool” to be single. (How they actually “get” these new relationships is a mystery to me but that’s a whole ‘nother story)

    Finding out about quirkyalone years ago was such a blessing and it’s been a comfort to know there are others who feel the same way I do…that you came up with a beautiful way to describe this type of lifestyle/choice/behavior/etc.

    I hope you do find that special someone..that we all find that special someone…but until then, we’ll just enjoy being our own special someone.

  12. Special K says:

    I read your blog to a male friend and he said “SEE! Eventually, all women want to get married.” But that is NOT what you are saying…it isn’t even about a lifestyle choice. I want to be alone, yes, but I also want to make lunch for someone everyday. I think what you are trying to say is that perhaps you’d like to matter in a different way now…

  13. KennethSF says:

    For those who’ve read your book, it’s perfectly clear that being a Quirkyalone does NOT mean taking a pledge to perpetual singledom.

    I’ve also met a number of people who make general assumptions about what being a Quirkyalone means–without consulting what you’ve written. I’m afraid it’s difficult to prevent misunderstanding among this crowd.

    Perhaps this is open discussion about your own ambivalence will add clarity to the Quirkyalones’ attitude towards singlehood, partnership, and marriage.

  14. I can imagine your dismay at your friend’s comment! I was similarly speechless when someone casually – and totally randomly – commented that I hate children. I was totally floored! I asked why on Earth he would say such a thing, and he replied, “Well, you don’t want kids, so it must be because you don’t like them.” I think my jaw literally dropped. There are so many erroneous assumptions embedded in that statement that I couldn’t even imagine how to reply.

    Just as our relationship to the partnering question shifts as we move through life, so does our relationship to the children question: Do we want to have children in our lives? If so, in what way? Do we want to be parents? Or maybe just godparents? Step-mothers and step-fathers? Or the world’s greatest aunts and uncles? If we do want to be parents, do we want a partner, and if so, what does that relationship look like?

    No easy answers! Just as “there are ways you can only grow when you are single, and ways you can only grow when you are partnered,” there some things that you only learn from having children, and others that you can only explore unfettered. The difference with quirkyalones is that we consciously think about that, and we make deliberate choices because of it. And when we do connect — with partners, with children — we do so in ways that reflect that self-awareness.

    Thanks for an awesomely thought-provoking article, Sasha!

    • Onely says:

      Deborah, Sorry to hear about your friend’s comment. My co-blogger’s friend told her that people who don’t want children are selfish. Who knew, right? = )
      Christina

  15. Sasha Cagen says:

    Thanks everyone for your responses. It’s amazing to have finally hit publish on these thoughts. I’ve been playing with variations of my thoughts on quirkyalone ten years later for three to four months in a Microsoft Word document that had grown to a massive twenty pages. The pressure was building in my psyche last Sunday when I said, OK, F— it, I’ll start over in Word Press and just write spontaneously and see what comes out.

    It seems true that most people who are really familiar with quirkyalone get that it’s not just about being alone. But in this ADD world where people scan rather than read, I’ve worried that people get hung up on the “alone” part and misundertand. As my friend did. He really did compare it to an STD. You really have to read a bit or discuss it a bit to understand.

    I am so grateful for the comments so far. It feels to me that the quirkyalone concept just getes deeper and richer the older I get. And even though I’ve felt like it’s an albatross at times (for example, when online dating, I don’t want people to know about it until we meet–that’s a whole other topic to write about!). Ultimately, though, I feel blessed to be thinking these topics through with a village. It takes a village to figure it out.

  16. To echo others here, I respect you a lot for exposing yourself to potential criticism so that you could be open with your readers about your desire for a partner. I agree with those who’ve said that to be “quirkyalone” is to be comfortable enough with your single life that you won’t settle just to be in a relationship.

    However, as a single blogger myself, I understand all too well how a passion for singles issues can brand you what I refer to as a militant single, one who shuns marriage or coupling of any kind. In fact, when I was on the dating scene less than a year ago, I was disappointed to find that the men I went out with assumed exactly that. Some people are sadly unable to distinguish between what The Unmarried Estate Blawg calls anti-marriage versus anti-marital privilege.

    In addition, as you said, there’s that haunting fear that you’ll be somehow less authentic as a blogger if you don’t remain single yourself. Although I recently “came out” on my blog as a single by choice, there was a time when I was searching for the right guy and couldn’t help feeling as though I would let my readers down if I got into a relationship. Someday, I may want to look for a relationship again, so I tried to be as clear as I could about the impermanence of my decision.

    Probably the majority of the population thinks in black and white terms, especially when it comes to traditional social structures like marriage and relationships. The ambiguity of enjoying singleness while searching for a partner or supporting marriage while despising singlism is hard to grasp for many people. Only by refusing to be forced into a box, by patiently and repeatedly explaining these nuances, can we change how the rest of the world relates to and accepts quirkyalones.

    Though I appreciate most everything you’ve said here, I have to differ on this statement: “Perpetual, lifelong singlehood is not optimal because it shuts off the possibility of certain kinds of growth.” My concern is that it sends a message that, after a certain point, it’s not okay to be single anymore, that singles are somehow less mature than marrieds. I wonder what kinds of growth are truly possible only in marriage? It’s true that living with someone day in and day out provides an opportunity for interpersonal growth, but many singles do live with and take care of children, other family members, or, in some cases, friends. I don’t think we should devalue those relationships as somehow second best just because they aren’t romantic or sexual.

    Again, I’m not saying this to criticize your wish to marry. It’s a drive that lots of us have, it’s perfectly normal, and I’m glad you spoke out to refute the myth that it’s not compatible with being a quirkyalone. But I felt compelled to deny what I think is another myth, that coupling is the only way to fully come of age or experience all life has to offer. I don’t believe there’s ever a point at which you’ve now learned everything you could possibly know as a single and should go get married any more than I believe there’s a point in every marriage at which you’ve learned all you can know about marriage and should then feel free to walk away! Whichever state we choose–single or married–we miss out on certain opportunities we could only have gained had we continued down the opposite path. Luckily, we also keep adding to our wisdom and life skills, wedded or not.

    • Kayle says:

      I agree: I find that I “catch up” with coupled people by being relying on my intuition and observation and testing. That way, I’m finding out the truth rather than relying on assumptions and social conditioning. And I then surpass them because I learn more in hours or days or months of observation with the REAL person than they do in years of “normal” relationships that they’re really spending fighting their own rationalizations.

  17. Randy says:

    You can learn a lot about yourself in lifetime of marriage. Especially with kids. For starters: what you feel like doing can no longer the center of your decision making. Or put differently, the challenge of personal growth is not to learn to love yourself more, but to love others more than yourself. Family does not fix anything, but it forces the issue. I don’t feel like getting up at midnight, 2:30am, 5:00am after a hard week at work, but my baby daughter is crying and needs a diaper change. At these moments I discover what beastly thoughts my heart is capable of. And yet, serving my child is a small part of the cure.

    • All true, all good points. And it’s also true that some (many?) married people — especially women, in my experience with my own circle — get married and then stop making conscious, deliberate decisions about their own growth & paths through life. They “get comfortable” and allow themselves to be drawn along, year after year, exclusively by the desires and interests of others.

      They essentially stop growing on a personal level at the point they married. Personal talents lie fallow. Passionate interests wither.

      I think the point here is that whatever our choices in relationships and parenting, we are never excused from the responsibility of creating meaningful and fulfilling lives for ourselves,

  18. Onely says:

    Lisa and I get that reaction (“Oh, so you plan to be single forever then?”) almost EVERY time we introduce Onely to someone outside the blogosphere. I don’t know why it’s such a polarizing idea–all or nothing! Neither of us are opposed to a long-term relationship. We are just in favor or deconstructing the degrading myths surrounding singlehood. Why the two should be linked in people’s eyes is beyond me.

    I understand the instinct to withhold certain feelings in order not to disappoint your readers. Onely tries to point out sometimes that you can be happily single, but that doesn’t mean that you have to be happy all the time while you’re single. You *can* have gaps in your life and you *can* feel sad and you *can* sometimes feel lonely! But being QA (or Onely) means not rushing into a relationship in order to fill one of those gaps. This is obvious to us, but obviously not to a lot of people. Which is just another reason why you have to keep working on Quirkyalone to get the message out. And if that means that you have to write it on a freaking wall that “I DO NOT HATE COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS”, then so be it.

    I do have to say that I’m not entirely in agreement with “Perpetual, lifelong singlehood is not optimal because it shuts off the possibility of certain kinds of growth”. I think perpetual singlehood is a valid option if you don’t come across Someone Special. No matter how we plan our lives, *some* kind of growth will always be missing. If I never travel north of the 55th parallel, then I’ll be missing a lot of growth too because I won’t experience life in cold weather. But I would imagine I’d compensate for that lack of growth in other ways (by travelling to the Virgin Islands, for instance, which would please me infinitely more).

    Anyway, long comment, but I had to weigh in on this great post. Thanks and kudos for the transparency.

    Christina at Onely

  19. Onely says:

    Ok, I have to add to my novel above:
    Sasha worries that by creating the QA movement and writing about it, she has in effect created a life of singleness for herself. The question is–does writing about something intensely bring it into your life?

    I don’t think so. In fact, I think writing about something removes it from you, puts it in a more analytical corner of your brain, separate from your emotional centers.

    I have written a lot about some chronic health problems I have, and people have said that to write about them would just make them more intense–but the opposite happened. The writing allowed me to take the experiences out of myself and organize them and edit them and *control* them in a separate venue (the paper).

    So Sasha, I don’t think you doomed yourself at all. If anything, you set yourself up to receive someone who appreciates your quirkyalone self.

    Christina

    • Christina, what a fantastic way to put this! Reading your comment, I realize that I’ve often felt the dynamic you describe, but haven’t examined it closely enough to explain it to myself.

      Writing about something absolutely can objectify it and release it, rather than miring you in it. Maybe it’s non-writers who assume the opposite. ;)

      • Kayle says:

        No, that’s magical thinking and I think it’s extroverts who are especially susceptible to this particular brand. A lot of them think that feelings originate outside of you (because their motivations are usually external) but that Real Problems come from inside you (rumination-something they don’t do much of anyway). When really it’s the other way around for introverts and for most people and for the concrete world, as far as origins are concerned.
        Introverts are only susceptible to it because they’re more likely to question any and everything that relates to the world outside our heads and be mystics on the inside.

        I suspect optimal functioning for *anyone* via altering oneself or adapting to things or changing one’s environment can be a mixture of both or either internal or external stimulus and highly individualized.

        Again, I say %&$! the Secret for making people dumb.

  20. Mirvana says:

    “I am afraid that by continuing to put my energy into a website about singleness that I am writing myself into a future of eternal singlehood.”…well, I hope not, because I embraced the Quirkyalone concept after I discovered this site years ago, and I’m in a good relationship now and want to keep it that way. As a matter of fact, I think that “quirkyalone-ness” helped me to finally meet someone that I could really be with. I still consider myself to be quirkyalone, eventhough I’m technically quirky-together, because I’m still the same person. Thank you for offering your insight and support.

  21. iol. singal says:

    Sascha said

    “Perpetual, lifelong singlehood is not optimal because it shuts off the possibility of certain kinds of growth.”

    I think this is absolutely WRONG and I’m really disappointed that someone who promoted the freedom to choose how you live your life should say something like this.

    Each of us is different and to say that we ALL are better off being married is VERY narrow minded. Sure, we may be missing out on something, but we are gaining in other areas that mean MORE for us than what we may or may not be losing.

    I just hope that people who read things in blogs realise that they are just the opinions of the people writing them – they aren’t necessarily true or right. So what Sascha is saying is not right for everyone. Just like what I’m saying isn’t right for everyone.

  22. Linda Happily Single says:

    Okay, I guess I can see where Sasha is coming from even though, as an older single woman, it sounds desperate and needy. I’ve done the husband and child thing and like so many women, I found myself lost, invisible, faded into the fabric of a system that places the needs of others above your own. Don’t kid yourself, we become secondary in the scheme of things. This is not to blame hubby and child for that – it’s just that our social programming kicks in and we become Mother Earth to all and sundry. Perhaps that’s a fulfilling role for some, for me it was not. My happiness,y needs, my creativity, my goals were unimportant. As my beautiful and bright daughter reached the time in her life where coupling became important, I encouraged her to never lose sight of her goals, her desires, her needs, and to enjoy her singleness while she was young and so much in the world was open to her. After a failed live-in relationship, she has finally embraced life as a young, single woman with a good job that makes her independent, a family of good friends who do not try to control her, and the fellowship of a church that feeds her spiritually. Can you grow from being partnered? Absolutely. But which way you grow is the more important issue. Finding that balance is the eternal buggaboo of the married folk. Frankly, I consider myself well out of all this needed, conformist pairing. I love my single life and I’ve grown more by following my own path than I ever did by clining to some social mandate that says coupling is normal and singlehood is damaging.

  23. Rachel says:

    This post is disappointing to me on so many levels. It’s disappointing because you feel like you have to post it. It’s your life, after all. Just like people grow out of relationships, you can grow out of a label. It’s disappointing because you seem to have forgotten about “quirkytogether” – a different way of being together. But mostly this post is disappointing because it sounds like you felt that being single is a “lifelong” sentence, as if you’re being condemned. You are writing about it as if it is something like herpes. And why do you need to redefine quirkyalone? Maybe you need to redefine where you are on the quirky spectrum between alone and together (and we never really are alone even as singles unless we’re hermits).

    To me, your post doesn’t come as a surprise, though. Reading your book for a second time – after having my consciousness raised by Bella DePaulo’s work – it sounded very much as if quirkyalone was a way to become better marital material. The search for The One seemed to run as an undercurrent in the book. It seemed to suggest that being single is okay for a while but the end goal is still marriage. That was disappointing to notice, too, because I was very excited when I read the book the first time.

    • Kayle says:

      YES!!!! AND %$^&#! THE SECRET.
      They should rename it “The Art of Psychological Projection but Nothing about How It Works, Especially the Part About How the Assumptions of Strangers and Their Self-Concept Accounts for 95% of How They Treat You, So You Can Subsequently *Blame* Yourself of Centuries of Socially Ensconced Idiocy That Has Nothing to Do with You, Per Se”

  24. Cleopatra says:

    We all evolve – we all grow, open up to new concepts and close to those concepts we’ve outgrown. What is wrong with that?
    In my opinion we should try to live the life that makes us feel OK within ourselves and with those around us – whether that wears the label ‘quirkyalone’, quirkytogether, or coupled is totally irrelevant.

  25. Tony G. Rocco says:

    I read your book and from the start never thought of quirkyalone as meaning not wanting a relationship or relationships. I understood it to mean being comfortable enough with yourself alone to not be willing to settle for a romatnic relationship just because you can’t stand your aloneness and have to be coupled. I think most QAs want friends, want to get along well with their families, want lovers, partners, spouses, etc. But they (we) have high standards, get along pretty well on their own and won’t settle for mediocrity.

  26. Keeley says:

    I’m coming to this piece late, but even though I have heard the term quirkyalone for years I never peeped it out. Then tada, here you are saying everything I’ve been saying myself for decades.

    I like your style. I also understand and empathize what you’re saying. Being an honest person in today’s society takes its own kind of courage, especially because misunderstandings seem to run rampant.

    Take care and thanks.

    P.S. I also heart your list book :)

  27. Kayle says:

    Honey, any woman being comfortable being ANYalone makes people think she only wants flings. The alternative is to stay home with your imaginary bevvy of cats.

  28. David says:

    I find that you are a very deep thinking type of person. Sometimes, I don’t even understand why you are saying certain things. Maybe this is quikiness. Maybe I have to read more of your blog.

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