Q. Is this just about being alone? I think being alone too much is not good and when we are entangled with others we are happier.
A. Quirkyalone is actually more about connection than being alone. It’s about being connected to yourself so that you can connect to others and be your real, true, quirky self. Quirkyalone is also about community: valuing the significant others in your life and knowing that those relationships are important too.
Q. How will quirkyalone help me have better sex and relationships?
Q. The more quirkyalone you become, the less willing you are to settle. You will not waste time in relationships that do not meet your fundamental needs. You will learn how to voice your needs too to find out whether you can create the relationship and/or sex you really want with a partner.
Being quirkyalone is about learning the skills of being authentically yourself with another, so you know how to share who you really are and ask for what you want. This helps create better relationships. You don’t need to be dependent on another for all your happiness either because you know how to draw from your own well. This opens the door to relationships that don’t have to be “the one” and/or let your partner off the hook from providing everything for you.
We talk about this a lot in the blog and in our courses and coaching.
Q. Can the quirkyalone be a man?
A. Yes, yes, yes! For a variety of reasons, about 85% of our community thus far has been women. Women are drawn to quirkyalone because we are expected to define ourselves by our relationships, and we get called an old maid, a spinster, or a slut if we don’t fit the stereotypical good girl. Women really need alternative ways to see themselves and value their singleness and alone-time. But that doesn’t mean quirkyalone is for women only. Quirkyalone is a philosophy that anyone can adopt. Our culture is already rife with archetypes for male loners on a mission: Odysseus, Western cowboy, geeks, James Dean, solitary indie-rock boys, etc. However, quirkyalone men too need support and help and we are there for you and we love you. Quirkyalone men are the best and often the most evolved men!
Q. Does this fundamental quality preclude me from meeting “the one?” Will I be so choosy that I will always be alone?
A. Vexing, for sure. Many of us obsess on this very question. Don’t despair. Despairing never helps. The best thing to do from our perspective is to get clear about what you really want. We teach you different exercises to help get clarity about what you are looking for in a partner and in your life. In our experience, once you have a clearer picture, this will help you attract what you are looking for and you will know it’s possible. You’ll also have an easier time moving on when a relationship is not right for you.
Q. How do you spell this word? Is it hyphenated?
A. NO! Although Microsoft Word will try to separate “quirky” and “alone” into two words, a hyphen is neither desirable nor necessary when writing the word “quirkyalone.” A quirkyalone is not simply a quirky person who happens to be alone. Like the German word “zeitgeist” (“zeit” meaning time, and “geist” meaning spirit), “quirky” and “alone” fuse together in a word that draws upon its constituent parts to create a new meaning.
Q. I know someone who is constantly hooking up but doesn’t get into relationships. Is she quirkyalone?
A. Good question. If your friend’s standards for companionship are very high, but for a Saturday night fling, very low, she goes by another name. This person is a quirkyslut, and she should wear this title proudly. (Read more about quirkysluts.)
Q. If I am a quirkyalone, does this mean I have to be celibate?
A. Absolutely not. Not unless you choose to be.
Q. What if I am quirkyalone until I find a partner, and then find myself reenacting every sick cliché I once railed against?
A. For starters, know that you are not alone. The quirkyalone’s deeply romantic nature can cause those who do fall in love to fall hard, sometimes even leading to into obsessive merging. Eventually most quirkyalones will balance out and you will find your way to being quirkytogether, your own unique way of creating a relationship. Most quirkytogether couples find a blend of being together and apart keeps the relationship fresh and the erotic spark alive.
Q. Are quirkyalones able to marry?
A. Of cousre. And many married people identify with being quirkyalone because they don’t want to lose that part of themselves the developed over single years. They want to still have a strong “me” in the “we.”