Quirkyalone

A New Parlor Game: Define Yourself Through Your Favorite Books

Apr 13, 2009 - Written by Sasha Cagen  |  Filed under: Books

We all love catchphrases to define who we are. But given that we are all such complex snowflakes, it’s hard to find just the right one. Who really calls herself a “lipstick lesbian”? What urban man unironically embraces “metrosexual”? And yet, it’s fun to have a term for yourself, isn’t it? It can be a reference point to reassure you that you are connected with others across our culture, in this moment in time.

I wondered what terms I could use to describe myself after my friend Jason forwarded me this story “Maybe the slackers had it right after all.”

The piece’s author David Scharfenbergargues that the commitment-shy, dillettantish slackers are better positioned to weather the economic gloom than traditional folks who bought homes and (gasp) had children. Interesting argument, but being a language person, I got stuck on the terminology. Scharfenberg identified “slackers” as people whose social values inform their work, like journalists and social workers. At the core, I think of slackers as people like the characters in Douglas Coupland’s Generation X, who move out to the desert, and work as little as possible and give up on making money. Slackers don’t seem to be engaged in the world around them. They seem to be more engulfed in a cloud of pot smoke.

I started to play a game with myself. It’s a parlor game that you can play too. In a moment of delirious, silly afternoon thinking, I wanted a label for myself. It would just have to be a series. Here is what I came up with.

I am a quirkyalone, aspiring vagabond, new rich.

I realized that the words I chose came from books that I’ve had passionate relationships with recently. The books have changed throughout the years.

Quirkyalone: Because although I ache to be in a stable, committed, full-on relationship, I’m still just as unable to fake it and be with someone for the sake of dating or being in a relationship. I’m also committed to the quest of fully enjoying my life whether I’m single or not, and being fully present in my life for myself, my friends, and the eventual partner. Book to credit for this label: my own!

Aspiring Vagabond: Next year, I look forward to a future period of extended travel, of being open to the possibilities of experience various cultures and languages in their native element. I want to open myself up to the mystery, unpredictability, and learning that comes from long-term travel and living abroad. I say aspiring because I’m also sort of a homebody. Book to credit: Rolf Potts’ Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-term World Travel.

New Rich: Even though I have been deeply skeptical of Tim Ferris’ Four Hour Work Week as a gimmick (I’ve never seen a more hard-working self-promoter promoting the idea of working less), when I finally read the book, I found it quite useful as a primer for taking miniretirements: an approach where we don’t delay our lives until we retire. Live for the now. Dip in and out of work. The new “richness” derives from pleasure and enjoyment of stepping out of the workaday world and into unforeseen experiences. Ferriss is an entrepreneur too and his new rich vision (fantasy or not) is full of tips on how to create “passive income” streams. There’s none of that slacker disengagement with the real world’s exigencies. This particularly appeals to me as a creative person because I know that I have periods of inspiration and periods when I need to chill and let ideas bake.

So there you have it! That’s me! Take a look at your own bookshelves and come up with a unique combination of labels for yourself. Play with your friends! Post them in the comments.