Quirkyalone: It’s a mindset

Wanted: Your Dilemmas for a New Advice Column (+ Win a Copy of Quirkyalone!)

Jul 07, 2009 - Written by Sasha Cagen  |  Filed under: Uncategorized, technology

Dilemmas, conundrums, burning (or mundane) questions about quirkyaloneness and quirkytogetherness: We all have them, and we want to hear yours. What questions do you have about optimum quirkyliving? What’s come up in your life recently where you could use some advice, a pep talk, or maybe even some tough love? We’d like to know, because we’re launching a new quirkyalone (or more broadly, quirkyliving) advice column. It will answer everything you ever wanted to know about quirkyliving and were(n’t) afraid to ask. The advice dispensers will be the lovely and talented writers over at one of my favorite blogs Onely.

We’ll be launching the column this month. Send your questions to onely AT onely dot org.

To sweeten the deal we’re sponsoring a contest for the first question askers. Send a question to the Onely ladies and let me know you have done so by leaving a comment on this post “I asked a question for the new quirkyalone advice column.” Leave your comment by Thursday, July 16. I’ll choose one of you at random; you’ll get a signed copy of Quirkyalone.

We’re ready and waiting to pore over your problems, so bring them on!

What’s your quirkyalone story?

Apr 28, 2009 - Written by Sasha Cagen  |  Filed under: Uncategorized

Sometimes authors talk about their books as babies. With no disrespect to the mothers of human beings, it’s true that when you publish a book, it feels like giving birth. You can’t just forget your new child either once it’s out. You take care of it over the years, pushing it out into the world, loving and caring for it so that it can have a life of its own. For me, quirkyalone is a conceptual baby because it’s had so many incarnations: book, website, holiday, workshop (summer camp for adults).

I have tended to quirkyalone now, amazingly, for ten years. It’s been ten years since I first uttered “quirkyalone” to friends, and nine years since I first pushed it out to the world in an essay in To-Do List magazine. (Five years since the book was published and this website launched.)

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Quirkyalone Media Empire About to Expand: Want to Join Us?

Jan 28, 2009 - Written by Sasha Cagen  |  Filed under: Uncategorized

I’m hard at work on what I think will be a very exciting direction for quirkyalone.net. The plan is to transform Quirkyalone into a group blog, even verging on magazine, with a number of bloggers posting on topics relevant to our lives. Whether it’s how to spot another quirkyalone on an online dating site or pop songs that won’t make you want to kill yourself because you’re single, you’ll be able to read about it here!

I’ve gotten a phenomenal response from talented writers and bloggers, and I’m sorting through the responses now. I’m also working with a developer and a designer on a new site design. I wanted to share a few more thoughts on what this site could use. Each blogger will contribute once a week on a given day. If any of these calls sparks your interest, write me at info AT quirkyalone.net, following the guidelines outlined in my previous call-for-bloggers post.

* Boy bloggers – The quirkyalone world is upside down. We need affirmative action for men. If you’re a guy who is just as insightful and writerly as women quirkyalones (ooooh, that’s a hard standard to meet!), I want to hear from you. We need at least one or two men providing the male QA perspective so we don’t get too biased and myopic in our thinking.

* Friendship and community – We are more connected and disconnected than ever before. It’s both a Bowling Alone and Facebook world. I would love for someone to focus on the community angle–how do we stay connected and create community, regardless of whether we are in a relationship? Topics might include friendship break-ups, co-housing, roommates, and more. Let me know what you would focus on.

* Dear quirkyalone – Advice! An advice column! How fun would that be? If you are constantly advising your friends and can write with wit, insight, and aplomb, then let me know and share some samples of your responses to someone’s plight. Please include questions and answers.

Is it me or is Christian Carter of “Catch Him and Keep Him” the devil?

Dec 09, 2008 - Written by Sasha Cagen  |  Filed under: Uncategorized

Have you ever gotten sucked into something that you were also ashamed to read? It happened to me yesterday. I was listlessly checking my email when I noticed a text ad that I must have seen more than 10,000 times. “How to catch and keep a man.” Those ads are as oddly ubiquitous as the text link ads for Acai Berry Wonder Diets, but I always assumed that ads with links like “Why Men Withdraw and What to Do About It” were for women who are more pathetic and malleable than me. Yesterday I joined the masses. And let me tell you. I became sickly fascinated. And angry.

I was vulnerable to that horrible ad because I recently heard something along the lines of “I’m just looking for something casual.” Somehow I find that impossible not to take personally. I clicked on the link–”The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes Women Make”–and found myself swimming through simple, one-sentence direct-mail style paragraphs, like:

“Have you ever slept with a guy very quickly after meeting him, but as it started to happen you got that sinking feeling in your stomach? You knew it was a mistake, but you did it anyway. And then the thing you KNEW would happen actually happened: He unexplainably disappeared from your life. Honestly, have you ever had this happen?”

Of course, the worst part wasn’t that it happened, but that you KNEW you shouldn’t have done it in the first place… but you did it anyway.

Ummm, who hasn’t?

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