Quirkyalone

Sex, City, Single Survey

Jan 16, 2004 - Written by Reyhan  |  Filed under: Uncategorized

The lovely ladies of “Sex and the City” live in world few of us recognize: endless possiblities of romantic encounters, with dates pouring out of every yoga class or cup of coffee or (for Samantha) sight of a hot young priest on a Sunday morning. In a study released by the University of Chicago, soon to be published as a book, researchers argue that single people form most bonds through social and institutional networks, not chance meetings. (Which won’t stop the hoards posting on Craig’s List Missed Connections, although I don’t know of any one who has had Desperately Seeking Susan success with those kinds of personals ads.)

Instead, the authors put forth ideas of single “markets.” As reported by the Chicago Tribune (among others ), the markets can be divided into “transactional” and “relational.” Cast in QA terms, it seems that quirkysluts would be in the transactional market, more open to meeting people in bars and parties while more traditional QAs would be more likely to find partners in relational settings, faciliated by friends.

The real news in this survey, though, is the increasing number of people choosing the single life. Edward Laumann, the project’s lead author and an expert in the sociology of sexuality, says, “On average, half your life is going to be in this single and dating state, and this is a big change from the 1950s.” As quoted in CNN: “What’s going on now is making the sexual revolution of the ’60s and ’70s pale in comparison,” says Eli Coleman, director of the Program in Human Sexuality at the University of Minnesota. We can only infer that he is referring to the QA movement.

Taking Politics Way Too Personally

Jan 15, 2004 - Written by Reyhan  |  Filed under: Uncategorized

Although the QA movement is not founded on political ideals, it is hard to imagine a more odious prospect than Bush’s new marriage proposal. As reported by the New York Times, “Under the president’s proposal, federal money could be used for specific activities like advertising campaigns to publicize the value of marriage, instruction in marriage skills and mentoring programs that use married couples as role models.” As every QA knows, marriage isn’t the only path to fulfillment, and a traditional marriage doesn’t guarantee economic stability or success. Now might be a good time to mention two recently published books which put forth different ideas on love and family: Against Love by Laura Kipnis, a blunt look at the mythology of love, focusing on the pitfalls of marriage and Urban Tribes by SF author Ethan Watters, which shows how city-dwellers are putting off conventional coupling to create closely-knit communities of friends.

And what business does this government have putting federal money towards marriage advertising? Isn’t reality television enough?

In a welcome respite from federally-mandated monogamy, PBS featured a thoughtful essay on friendship . Positing friendship as a defining relationship wouldn’t appear to be such a revolutionary act, unless, of course, our current president wasn’t working so hard to keep “American” values firmly anchored to an oppressive past.

Grace Cathedral Report

Jan 14, 2004 - Written by Sasha Cagen  |  Filed under: Uncategorized

Just a note to let you all know that the Grace Cathedral event that took place last Sunday was FABULOUS. Over 120 people attended–it was such an engaged, enthusiastic audience, most of the folks were in their forties, fifties, and beyond. Rev. Alan Jones, the dean of the Cathedral, brought a wonderful, intellectual, spiritual perspective to the conversation, unlike almost all the other conversations that happen in the press (instead of the idea of quirkyalone being reduced, it was truly expanded). My father said it was the first time he heard me go further than my “stump speech.” The audio is now available online at Grace Cathedral.