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Quirkyalone Coaching for Single Women Who Don’t Want to Settle
I specialize in helping smart, ambitious single and divorcing women love themselves first, ask for what they want, stand up for their value, and live full lives in every arena, from the bedroom to the boardroom.
Through our sessions, you will get clarity on whatever is keeping you up at night and we don’t stop with clarity. You’ll have an action plan to achieve it and my support every step of the way.
We work together to strip away the societal programming that may have you down and create freedom, possibilities and even adventures instead. The story you come in with about yourself and your life will not be the story you leave with. You will see yourself in new ways.
I help you with:
learning how to love yourself first, whether you’ve been single forever, are thinking about leaving a relationship, or are going through a divorce
feeling comfortable and at peace with being single and living your life fully even if you do want a partner too
opening up to greater intimacy in dating and relationships and learning how to communicate your needs and desires
letting go of conditioning around dating, sex and sensuality so you feel empowered and in touch with your sensuality and understand the potential of your sexuality and pleasure as life force energy for you
getting clear on goals and what you really want in your life, work/career, and relationships–as opposed to what you are supposed to want. We strip away the conditioning to find what’s true for you.
enjoying your life fully. After all, I’m writing a book called Wet! I’ll help you find your wet and we create adventures in your everyday life at home so you are not just working all the time or only caring for others, so you are living at full tilt now, not in the future.
career transitions and reinventions: getting clear on next steps and how to get there
empowering yourself with self-care so you create a life that works for you
I offer a creative alternative to therapy that can help you start living your full life now (not later)…
Through my coaching practice, I provide a unique, deep, creative, and action-oriented alternative to therapy to help you make lasting change.
We will start by getting clear about the goals of our working together, and then I will help you to achieve those goals step-by-step through a path of actionable baby steps .
Between the sessions you may have “playwork”: personalized assignments to make these changes tangible in your life. This structure breaks down the process into steps and gives you accountability.
Many clients say there is a distinct before and after quality to working with me.
Here are some examples of real-life problems and situations I have helped clients with:
clarifying statement of purpose in work as you pivot to the next phase of your career
shortening the duration, negotiating, and moving on from a divorce with the best settlement possible.
healing past abuse that was stopping you from being open to dating
setting healthy boundaries and clear communication with a committed partner
taking the risk to move to a new city to create the life she really wanted
leaving a secure job to follow a dream of a new career
looking at why you have been single for a long time–and what’s stopping you from dating
Self-worth is always a theme of our work. I will not let you settle in a so-so life, work, or sell yourself short for scraps in a relationship.
When you work with me, you will get:
Support to take risks to find out what really lights you up, so you are living life to the fullest
Personalized guidance from a woman who has a fierce will to live life to the fullest and has broken the mold in her own life.
A coach and guide who is independent minded: someone who’s not lockstep with any set societal idea of what life should be, who can help free you from conventional thinking to find what is really true and right for you.
My coach training comes from CTI, the largest coach-training institute in the world, and I supplement this with my decades of experience supporting quirkyalone women and men, along with training in memoir, writing as healing (the Hero’s Journey), tantra, female sexuality, tango, psicotango, and trauma healing.
As the author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (Harper San Francisco, 2004)and the founder of the quirkyalone movement (which I launched back in 2000), I have deep experience helping thousands of single women.
I’m definitively a coach by training and approach, but many clients call me their therapist because of the depth of our conversations and the support you receive. One client told me, “I had a psychologist and a pleasure coach, but I’d prefer to talk with you weekly.”
Since we’ll be working closely together, you can get to know me a bit here. Here’s a video where you can learn about me and my work as a writer and a life coach for modern single women.
My career has been a story of one creative project after the next (books, companies, a magazine, and so on) and I bring that same creative spirit to my coaching as we cocreate your life.
Coaching with me is a creative space.
As we look at the beliefs and stories that have kept you stuck, we also cocreate your path forward with systems, structures, and “life hacks” that will be unique to you. (Quirkyness is another prong of my coaching philosophy–each person is different, so we are going to dig in and find what works for you.)
In this way, coaching with me is very results-oriented.
Along with our twice-monthly Skype sessions, we co-create your “playwork.”
Playwork is where the rubber hits the road. These are totally personalized practices and assignments to help you practice step-by-step what we talk about in our Skype sessions.
Often the playwork involves writing and reflection, or it’s some sort of practical step, creative project, or conversation to help you advance our goals in the real world.
Each piece of playwork is a baby step, and over time, these baby steps add up to big changes.
Some examples of playwork:
creating a checklist to guide your yes or no for a decision (on a date, or an opportunity)
facing a fear, such as having a tough conversation with communication strategies you learn from me
journaling to release anger
practicing nonviolent communication
going to a salsa class to explore sensuality
pussywalking to increase your confidence before speaking or a date (you’ll learn what this is!!!)
rewriting a dating profile to get clear on what you really want
doing art (making a collage) to envision the type of relationship you really want
going to networking events and reporting back on conversations
looking in a mirror and saying “I love you”
list of things you are proud about in a certain area
presentations, look over a pitch, or practicing a pitch
The playwork is all assigned/based on the therapeutic work we do during the Skype sessions. It will be based on your dreams, real-life interpersonal conflicts, inner conflicts, limiting beliefs, problems that need creative solutions, things you have been procrastinating on or are afraid to do, beliefs that aren’t serving you, and so on.
Don’t forget: I’m also the one who wrote a book on to-do lists, so we use that framework to turn your desired changes into a series of baby steps that make this all a series of doable things you will be checking off on your list, one-by-one.
My clients tend to be women who are highly educated and want to life a fully expressed life whether they are single or coupled.
My clients range in ages from twentysomething to sixtysomething, and they live all over the world: the U.S., Europe, Canada, Australia, and South America. The best part about working via Skype is that you can live anywhere. We find a time that works for both of us to talk twice a month, and you can do this work from the comfort of your own home, or anywhere you have a private space (such as a conference room at work).
Many are academics, creative types, in business as entrepreneurs, or working in government or nonprofits. Most either identify with being or enjoy the quirkyalone concept, and feel “quirky” in some way. Some like the idea of being “wet.” Wet is a metaphor that I am working with in my new book that is all about being in touch with your body’s desires to help guide your choices in life.
You tried to work through this yourself but have remained stuck in the status quo.
You may have tried to address these issues in various ways. The therapist was okay, but you just vented and didn’t see the change you long for.
Self-help books have strategies but you never do them and they are not tailored for you and your unique needs and personality. Not to mention, a self-help book can’t hold you accountable.
Talking to friends is good but there are things or a certain depth of things you can’t expect them to take on.
A fortune teller or private Facebook group might give you direction but it’s not a structured process to keep you accountable and help you make change.
Request Initial Consult
Want to explore coaching with me? Tell me a little bit about you and what you want to focus on or get help with.
I work with clients in the U.S., Europe, and South America via phone or Skype, so you can live anywhere in the world. Because we work via Skype or phone, you can do this work from the comfort of home or work (if you have a private space during the workday).
I read your answers to the request consult form. As long as I believe I can help you based on your answers, we will set up a time to talk via phone or Skype for about 20 minutes to get to know each other. I’ll ask you some questions to find out more about you and what you want to explore or achieve and explain how coaching with me works. Then we can decide if it’s a good fit.
I look forward to “meeting” you! The first step is to fill out the form below.